Amaya Dahl You know those girls who seem to have their life in order?
The ones who always seem to look stylish and put together, breezing through life without a care in the world?
More often than not, she’s an actual ball of anxiety with racing thoughts 24/7 and constantly masking feelings of imposter syndrome, procrastination, and burnout.
I know because I was her.
Productivity in my life used to look like toxic cycles of avoiding tasks, procrastination, and guilt until the rush of anxiety from deadlines forced me to act. It was either bed-rotting or burnout, there wasn’t an in-between. Luckily, I’ve discovered how to create routines in a way that makes sense to me.
Here’s what I realized – routines don’t have to feel robotic and constrained. They can be restorative, and feel more like rituals.
If you find yourself feeling stressed with creating structure in your life or overwhelmed to the point of inaction, this is your chance for a lifestyle tailored for you.
The blueprint for how to design your life is rooted in systems, self-awareness, and softness.
What is the Difference Between Routine vs. Ritual?
A routine is a repeatable action with usually a desired outcome. Think about things you do daily like brushing your teeth, eating a meal, or making your bed. These activities are usually rushed and easy to skip.
A ritual, on the other hand, is something that is slowed down and intentional. It’s the same act e.g. brushing your teeth combined with mindfulness. This way, you are more present and focused on the experience. It’s also harder to skip or ignore when you have made the act meaningful.
When you transform mundane routines into rituals, you create more consistency and joy in your life. They slowly improve your mood and have a positive impact on how you start your day.
Designing rituals in your everyday life creates a peace that cannot be challenged once you’re in alignment. You’ll feel more confident, productive, and prepared to take on anything, even as life’s curveballs ebb and flow.
The Four Non-Negotiables of Any “Soft” Routine
No matter what your dream lifestyle looks like, there are some foundational requirements for health, ease, and resilience. Without these in place, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Sleep. Minimum 7–9 hours; why rest is sacred, not indulgent. Sleep is a period of renewal. Let’s be honest. Lack of sleep makes you ugly, inside and out. Do what you have to do to make sure it’s quality sleep, whether it’s staying off your phone 2 hours before bed or working out to make yourself tired.
Diet. But instead of focusing on restriction, focus on whole foods, hydration, and balance. For example, if I’m eating pepperoni pizza, I’ll make sure to eat a garden salad as well. If eating healthy is a challenge, try meal planning a few days out of the week.
Exercise. It is so easy to waste a day in bed scrolling through social media platforms, but you’re slowly killing yourself doing this. Use movement as a medicine, whether it’s walking, yoga, swimming, or even dancing in your room. Physical movement every day is critical, even if it’s just 20 minutes.
Mental Health. If you don’t have a journal to dump your thoughts into, I highly recommend starting one today. With the world becoming more chaotic, emotional regulation and reflection will be important. Learn to spend moments with yourself in solitude and have strong boundaries in place for your peace.
My Lifestyle Routine: (Tailored to Me)
Before I go into the lifestyle that works for me, keep in mind that when it comes to how to live a soft life, “soft” is not a one-size-fits-all concept for everyone. As a creative, I used to think I was lazy for not embracing a routine of hustle and grind. When I finally started to mold my lifestyle around my feminine energy and cycles, I started to feel more like myself.
- Acknowledge your moods, needs, and energy
- Understand that rest is a requirement
- Give yourself grace, where needed
What My Daily Flow Looks Like:
Wake-Up Ritual:
5:00 am: As I brush my teeth, wash my face, and make my bed I’ve started to listen to jazz music in the morning. Listening to music with no words is calming for my brain and jazz is a gentle nudge to wake up without making me anxious.
5:20 am: Go to the gym and exercise for 45 minutes. I have to exercise first thing of the day or it will not happen. I am a glutton for procrastination so I get it out of the way. I’ll use this time to scroll social media because I’m at the gym. It’s a small reward and makes my workout go by quickly.
6:30 am: Shower. Get dressed. Make a hot cup of peppermint tea. Fill my thermos with water and lemon to drink throughout the day. Sit in my garden for 10 minutes and create a to-do list for the day.
7:30 am: Log in to work.
Mid-Day Reset
9:30: I take a 15-minute break to step outside to enjoy the sun, scroll my phone, or talk to family.
11:00 am: I have this time blocked for lunch but I save it for other self-care activities and eat while I’m working. I’ve used this hour instead for naps, a walk to stretch my legs, or to take a break and tend to my patio garden.
1:30 pm: Take a 20-min break. My job can be pretty demanding and these last two hours are where I can feel my energy start to wane.
3:30 pm: Hard stop log-off. I do not make a practice of working past eight hours. I usually set an alarm for thirty minutes before my day ends to ensure I can tie up any loose ends. I don’t ever make it a habit to work for free or make my job my personality.
Digital Boundaries or Down-time Practices:
- I love using the Do Not Disturb Option for heads-down time.
- Set alarms for tasks. Keeps you productive and on track.
- Reading is essential for self-development, even if it’s 15 minutes a day.
How to Flex Routines Based on Energy
Having a routine doesn’t necessarily mean you have to stick to it cut and dry. So, create a routine that takes your fluctuations in mood and energy into account but still accomplishes the main goal. For example, if it’s my time of the month, it can be hit or miss with how I feel physically. If I can’t make it to the gym, I’ll take a 10-minute walk around the block instead.
Think of your blueprint as a guide and foundation. You can add to your list or subtract from your morning routine to stay productive without the guilt and shame that come with change.
Things to Absolutely Cut Out for a Life of Ease
Speaking of ease, nothing will kill your inner peace faster than a life filled with emotional baggage and energetic clutter. Here’s a list of soft life saboteurs I needed to get rid of become aware of and cut out of my life to get a state of peace.
Any of these sound familiar?
- Overcommitting to people pleasing. If you want to have relationships in your life, learning to say no and build strong boundaries the first moment you recognize a red flag is important.
- Clutter. This can be emotional and physical. If your circle doesn’t make you feel inspired and empowered, I hate to tell you, they are leeches and you need to cut them off. If your space is filled with things, consider this the weeding process in your garden to make space for new “growth.”
- Multi-tasking everything. I used to feel so accomplished after being busy after 3 hours when I realized I had did nothing. Don’t be a busybody and create lists and cross off tasks one by one to keep yourself on track.
- Toxic comparison on social media. If you haven’t figured it out, 90% of the content on social media is fake and meant to trigger or sell you something. When you compare yourself whether it’s physically, financially, or socially, you’re comparing yourself to a reality that does not exist. It’s important to take breaks and get to know yourself without the echo chamber of your online algorithm.
Ease Isn’t Laziness – It’s a Skill
Learning how to design your life with ease doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility or ambition, it means approaching life with clarity, intention, and care. It’s about replacing constant hustle with aligned action, trading burnout for balance, and transforming the mundane into the meaningful.
Living with ease on purpose is the blueprint. You don’t have to earn rest, joy, or softness. You just have to choose it—over and over again.
Let this be your reminder: your life doesn’t have to be hard to be valuable. Your peace is not a luxury—it’s your foundation.
